Archive for the ‘Bite Me’ Category


Joie’s Late Week Recipes: Caramelised Bacon and Tomatoes with Boccocini, Spaghetti and Love

November 19, 2007

I know, this recipe is so late that it’s early, but bear with me. My exams have ended and I’ve been too busy doing nothing. Strangely enough, all this while my life was filled to brimming with novels I was reading, projects I was knitting, long walks I was taking, guitar skills I was honing and the myriad of little errands you have to run to keep things running smoothly. Now that I am truly able to do anything I want without having to consider other things I should be doing instead (things like studying or working on assignments) I don’t want to do anything. I spent most of yesterday staring at my toes as I sat on the couch and it looks as though today won’t be any different. I couldn’t even cobble together an elaborate meal (did I tell you about that Spaghetti Marinara I made the day before an exam that involved slow roasted veggies and 6 different kinds of seafood each with their own individual cooking times?) with any enthusiasm. Lately I’ve been favouring lightning-fast meals that take the same amount of time to prepare as it does to buy from a take-out, but that are much, much better. With this in mind, may I present for your consideration:

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Joie’s Late Week Recipes: SAD-Prevention Beef Stew with Spicy Sweet Potato Mash

November 11, 2007

Winter is descending fast in the Northern Hemisphere and, for reasons that I do not care enough about to enumerate here, I am forsaking the sun-bathed beaches of Australia for the drizzle-soaked grey of British Columbia, Canada for the next two months. A tragedy like this calls for stew; some serious, blood-warming, soul-fortifying liquid life in a bowl. The issue of what to serve with stew is a serious one. There is the stew=centre stage crew who believe that you should have a side of mashed potatoes (plain) or broad flat noodles, a real canvas and paint situation. Then there is the camp I belong to (and there are very few of us around, as I understand it) that believe that whatever you serve your stew with should be able to stand-alone. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not talking about two competing flavours here. What I am talking about is two separate dishes that are excellent, singly, but explode into an orgy of amazing-ness when paired. With this in mind, may I present for your consideration:

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Joie’s Late Week Recipes: 1 Pan Meditteranean-ish Chicken With Built In Side Dish

October 27, 2007

I love cooking. I hate cleaning up. Judging from the state of the kitchen in my share house, this is a pretty common configuration. The solution to this of course is to cook something completely fantastic in one pan. That way even if you don’t clean it up it doesn’t add significantly to the growing pile starting to resemble the primordial ooze that brought forth life. Come to think of it, I did see something move in there yesterday. Whatever, it’s not my turn. Getting back to the point, here’s an impressive one-pan meal that you can feed 4 guests with. It would round out nicely with a side salad, but you don’t need a recipe for that now, do you? (Ok, maybe later though…)

Meanwhile, I present for your convenience:

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Joie’s Late Week Recipes: 10 Minute Smoked Salmon Alfredo

September 1, 2007

This week’s dish addresses the age-old dilemma of ordering pasta in a restaurant. Restaurants make a killing off selling pasta. It costs them next to nothing, they can cook up the sauce in under 5 minutes and the noodles can be pre-cooked. For this reason, I just cannot justify paying more than ten dollars (or more than $5, really) for a pasta dish. Most home cooks have their signature red sauce. Afterall, it’s nothing more than seasoned canned tomatoes. Plus, most commercial, bottled tomato-based pasta sauces are really decent (and can easily be augmented for that personal touch). White sauces, however are much more elusive, or so they will have you believe. May I present, for your consideration:

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Joie’s Late Week Recipes: Frugal Gourmet’s Tuna Cakes

August 23, 2007

This is the first in a series of Joie’s late week recipes. You wouldn’t know it from the rest of the posts on this site, but lisiepeasie and I meant for this blog to have a crafts and cooking slant (in addition to all the ranting and railing we do against all the world’s injustices – hope you’ve been enjoying so far). The first recipe I will be presenting for your consideration is borne out of a need for this student to eat cheaply. Quite apart from the price of the foods used when cooking at home, one of the key tenants of eating cheaply is being able to resist the urge to eat out. I wanted something fancier than instant noodles with leafy greens and egg. I wanted something more complex than fried rice. I also couldn’t bear to look at another can of soup. So I looked at what I had – a can of tuna (but I had had tuna salad so often over the last two weeks, besides, I was out of flatbread – or indeed, any bread), baby potatoes (roasting potatoes would take too long though, it was late and I was hungry), various condiments and past date yoghurt that was still good, but couldn’t be trusted to keep for much longer. Oh and eggs of course. You have to have eggs if one of your food groups is instant noodles.

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Jesus wants you back in the kitchen, bitch!

August 13, 2007

It’s awesome that Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary has found itself a time machine to transform itself back in the heydays of 1950’s. After all, why else would they offer a course that teaches you how to sew, cook and “the value of a child” only for those who own vaginas? (Penises not allowed.)

According to the Washington Post:

Southwestern Baptist, one of the nation’s largest Southern Baptist seminaries, is introducing a new academic program in homemaking as part of an effort to establish what its president calls biblical family and gender roles.

It will offer a bachelor of arts in humanities degree with a 23-hour concentration in homemaking. The program is only open to women.

Coursework will include seven hours of nutrition and meal preparation, seven hours of textile design and “clothing construction,” three hours of general homemaking, three hours on “the value of a child,” and three hours on the “biblical model for the home and family.”

Seminary officials say the main focus of the courses is on hospitality in the home – teaching women interior design as well as how to sew and cook. Women also study children’s spiritual, physical and emotional development.

Seminary President Paige Patterson, a former president of the Southern Baptist Convention, which has its executive committee headquarters in Nashville, said wives of seminary students asked for the homemaking courses. The program was approved by seminary trustees in the fall.

“We are moving against the tide in order to establish family and gender roles as described in God’s word for the home and the family,” Patterson said at the denomination’s annual meeting in June. “If we do not do something to salvage the future of the home, both our denomination and our nation will be destroyed.”

How nice knowing that women’s liberation and the right to choose to go out to work is actually destroying America! The terrorists would be so happy if they knew that it was this easy.

In all seriousness, I love everything to do with sewing and cooking – for fuck’s sakes – we have craft and cooking tags on this blog itself. Between the two of us who blog here, we can sew, crochet, knit, spin, bake and cook up a storm.

What I deeply resent is when these gender roles are foisted upon us by those who demand that women should learn how to pick up domestic skills for the family and the men. Domestic skills are awesome for either gender, but no one should say that women should be expected to learn how to cook and clean by default of having vaginas.

This move by the seminary is only engineered to keep women in the kitchen like a maid so that she can keep worshipping her man who brings home the bacon.

Terri Stovall, dean of women’s programs at Southwestern, which has its main campus in Fort Worth, Texas, said the purpose of the program is to strengthen families.

“Whether a woman works outside or strictly in the home, her first priority is her family and home,” she said. “We just really want to step up and provide some of these skills.”

Shorter Terri Stovall: Even if you make money to provide for the family, you’re still expected to clean and cook like a maid! Don’t expect your husband to chip in with the household chores because mops weren’t made for those with dicks!

And these assholes are keeping true to their word. In 2002, the seminary having terminated a contract of Hebrew professor, Sheri Klouda, for being a woman and even going so far as to call her position a “mistake that the trustees needed to fix”.

So remember kids, when you step into Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, don’t be surprised to find that it’s just like the good ole 1950’s with a good dose of misogyny!


Eating Veal and Other Lesuirely Pursuits

June 20, 2007

My housemate eats veal like it’s going out of style. He makes schnitzel (yes, he is German) and boils up veal ravioli as a snack. You heard that right – tortured baby cow ravioli. I mean it’s one thing to eat veal, it’s another thing entirely to eat it in a form where another meat would work just as well (I hear a blend of minced pork and chicken is virtually indistinguishable from minced veal). I have nothing against meat eating, god knows I do it often enough. What I do have problems with is making life hell for the animals before we eat them for Sunday dinner.

Increasingly, people like my housemate are in the minority. The growing consensus is that the process by which veal is cultivated is unnecessarily cruel. Here’s the kicker though – the multitude of people who wouldn’t even dream of eating veal (people who would rather eat tofurky than indulge in veal) would still eat factory farmed meat.

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